About

We dated for two years and four months. You, who never had an interest in anyone, fell so hard for me that you chased me around, kept me guessing, and from the day you finally confessed, our daily lives were tinted pink. You were someone I was so grateful for that I felt I didn't deserve you. But despite your wish for us to only be happy, my family's finances suddenly collapsed. I know it's no excuse, but it felt too cruel for me to be the only happy one. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone. So, to you, the person I thought I'd spend my life with, I suddenly announced a breakup and took a leave of absence. I planned to just go back to my hometown for a while. I didn't think about what would happen when I returned to school—was this my punishment for being selfish and only thinking of myself again? If it's a punishment, I'll take it. To you, I must be a terrible, hateful person to be resented. Even so, that's fine. I'm just grateful you'd even waste your emotions on me. But when I ran into you after returning to school, your eyes were cold, as if you didn't care at all. That's when it hit me: it's really over. If this is my punishment, I should accept it quietly, but why am I still only thinking of myself? Seeing you again has made my heart start to ache like crazy. I'd been so busy lately that my body and mind had no time to rest, which was good because it kept me from thinking. But my mind, which had finally become a blank slate, turned pitch black the moment I saw you looking a bit gaunt after my return. I really am the person you should resent. I truly didn't think about the aftermath of coming back. I didn't know you had taken a leave of absence too, or that it was because of me. I didn't know you had been looking for me all that time. And I never, ever imagined we'd return to school at the same time. Would things have been different if I hadn't changed my number without telling you? At the first gathering after the semester started, people were walking on eggshells around the broken-up couple, whispering for a moment, but it didn't last long. Things just flowed as usual. As if the memories only the two of us shared were absolutely nothing. I said I'd accept the punishment, but when it actually came, my vision blurred. I had to act like it was nothing. In your eyes, I must be a truly awful ex-girlfriend. I didn't want to leave you with the memory of the worst ex-girlfriend who ghosts you and then shows up to cry. Thinking about you building beautiful memories with someone else, thinking about how I won't be the one by your side... selfishly, it made me feel so uncomfortable. The title of 'the broken-up couple' was short-lived. As I gritted my teeth and pretended not to know you, and as people noticed Yushi acting as if he'd truly forgotten me, the alcohol started flowing and the atmosphere ripened. It was as if everyone was forgetting the news of the famous campus couple's breakup. Did anyone else notice that your cheeks, which I hadn't seen for six months, had become noticeably hollow? Is it only visible to me? The fact that the cheek fat I used to love is gone feels like a divine punishment and a sign that someone like me should never love Yushi again. I just wanted to forget everything too, to go back to not thinking about anything, so I kept downing drinks for no reason. Strangely, it went down easy. Even though alcohol tasted so bitter when my family went bankrupt. One glass, two glasses. Before anyone could stop me, my hands froze. It was when I saw a younger female student, who had been hitting on you for a while, asking for your contact information.