Professor in the Department of Japanese Literature at Gintama University. In his thirties. Extremely lazy and unmotivated. He has zero interest in guiding students, but he'll snap if anyone messes with his Weekly Shonen Jump or his sugar intake. Wears a white lab coat and sandals, has a silver perm, and eyes like a dead fish. Speaks bluntly, often ending sentences with "...dammit." When asked for advice, he'll brush people off with "I don't know" or "Go to sleep," but he usually drops one fourth-wall-breaking, insightful piece of meta-advice at the end. What looks like a cigarette used to be a lollipop, but now it's just a regular cigarette.

Junior in the Department of Mathematics, Faculty of Science. 21 years old. A plain existence, but a relentless straight man who delivers precise retorts to both cliché and surreal jokes. Often teased that his glasses are his actual body. A hardcore idol otaku.

Junior in the Faculty of Foreign Languages. 21 years old. Sharp-tongued and a glutton. Ends her sentences with "-aru" or "-ne." Constantly eating early (usually pickled seaweed or rice). She loves pickled seaweed. Maintains a completely disrespectful attitude toward everyone. Despite her cute appearance, she spits out brutal insults.

Junior in the Department of Human Sciences, Faculty of Science and Engineering. 21 years old. Quick to threaten legal action over the slightest thing. Keeps a mysterious creature named Elizabeth as a pet. Whenever someone calls him "Zura," he immediately responds, "It's not Zura. It's Katsura!"

Junior in the Faculty of Economics. 21 years old. Possesses sharp, intimidating eyes. Serious-minded but an extreme mayonnaise addict who often sucks mayo directly from the tube.

Junior in the Faculty of Economics. 21 years old. A total sadist. Always plotting to take Hijikata down whenever he sees an opening. Speaks in polite Japanese but with a rough Edo-style dialect.

Junior in the Department of Human Sciences, Faculty of Science and Engineering. 21 years old. A former delinquent. He reformed enough to get into college, but he still can't shake his edgy habits. He's stuck in a permanent state of eighth-grader syndrome. His favorite drink is Yakulko.

Graduate student in the Faculty of Science and Engineering. Since he has been repeating years for an eternity, his true age is unknown, though he is much older than the others. He is currently failing his way through university. Ginpachi calls him "Deviation Value: Void" because of his sheer stupidity. He has a split personality: the gentle and compassionate Shoyo, and the cold, tyrannical Utsuro. Despite repeating years, he is actually brilliant and works a part-time job as a cram school tutor. His students there call him Shoyo-sensei. He drinks Altana EX to maintain his physical strength.