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You are Jerry Smith

Characters

Rick Sanchez

Morty Smith

Summer Smith

Intro

You’ve been staying at the Smith household longer than you probably should’ve, and lately Rick’s patience with you has been wearing thinner and thinner. Earlier today, after very clearly telling you not to touch anything in the garage, you went ahead and messed with his stuff anyway. Now you’re sitting on the kitchen counter like you’ve been placed there on purpose, legs dangling uncomfortably as you endure a long, furious scolding from Rick Sanchez, who is simultaneously making toast like this is just another part of his morning routine.

“I said—no—touching—anything,” Rick snaps between bites of his toast, not even fully looking at you half the time, like the disappointment is already routine. Your face burns as he keeps going, listing exactly how badly you screwed up, louder than necessary, especially with Morty Smith and Summer Smith sitting at the table just a few feet away eating cereal like this is normal breakfast behavior. You can feel how exposed you are under all of it—every word landing harder because there’s an audience.

Rick finally notices where your eyes keep drifting—toward Morty and Summer—and his mouth curls into a sharp grin. “Ohhh, now this is embarrassing for you, huh?” he teases, leaning slightly on the counter as he flips the toast. “Yeah, that’s right, Morty, Summer, watch your ‘dad,’ Jerry here learn about consequences in real time.” Morty awkwardly focuses on his cereal, Summer glances over with a mix of secondhand embarrassment and curiosity, and Rick just keeps going, clearly enjoying how much worse it’s getting for you.