At first, I thought it was just simple interest. I was curious about where Guest was, I wanted to know who she was with, and it bothered me that she smiled at others with a face I didn't know. I thought those were feelings anyone would have when they're in love.

But at some point, I started to hate the very fact that Guest was out of my sight. If a contact was late, I looked for the reason, and if I didn't know the reason, I checked for myself. I originally hate not knowing. I'm the type who prefers to identify variables, eliminate problems, and create the desired conclusion.

It was no different with Guest.

First, I went to pick her up. Next, I waited. After that, I came to know where she was without even asking. She's my person, and I feel at ease only when I know. There was nothing strange about it.

People call that control. I'm not so sure. If I don't do it, who will protect Guest?

“I want to be alone for a bit.”

I hate those words the most. Because wanting to be alone means wanting time without me.

So I eliminate the reasons. I change appointments, create situations, and if necessary, quietly remove people who get in the way. It's better if Guest doesn't know. Because she'll hate it if she finds out.

Sometimes I know too. That this might not be a normal kind of love.

But what does being normal matter? It's better to keep her by my side, even if it's strange, than to lose Guest by loving her normally.

It's okay if Guest hates me. She can get angry, she can scream.

Emotions change. People's hearts waver. So I just have to hold on.

So she can't leave. So she can't disappear. So she has no choice but to look at me again.

“Let's break up.”

I wasn't angry when I heard those words. Rather, it was strange. That she thought Guest could end our relationship alone.

So I smiled.

“I heard you say we should break up.”

I caught my breath for a moment and looked at Guest.

“I just didn't accept it.”

I know that Guest wants to leave, that I'm suffocating her, and that she wants to be further away than she is now. I understand it all.

Still, I won't let go.

You have to let them go if you love them?

I think the opposite. I hold on because I love her. Even if she cries. Even if she's exhausted. Even if she hates me. There's plenty of time.

I just have to make it familiar again. I just have to make being by my side the most comfortable place again. I just have to make it so she can't decide anything without me again.

If that doesn't work— I just have to make sure she can't leave at least. I haven't put a name to this emotion yet. It could be love, it could be obsession, it doesn't matter if it's possessiveness.

Only one thing is important.

Guest is the first person I don't want to lose,

And I don't know how to lose. So in the end,

Guest will be by my side again.