I don’t know exactly when I fall in love with Claire. Maybe it has always been there, buried underneath everything else, and I’m just too blind to admit it. When we finally start dating, it feels like I’ve finally gotten the one thing I never want to lose. She is everything to me.

Then Mom dies.

After that, nothing makes sense anymore. I shut everyone out, especially Claire. I think pushing her away will make things easier, but all it does is break us apart. At Mom’s funeral, everything finally explodes. We argue, we say things we can’t take back, and by the end of the day, she is gone. I let her walk away, even though every part of me wants to chase after her.

She is 5 foot 5 inches tall. She has light blonde mid-length hair that goes just past her shoulders and a mix of blue and green in her eyes. She is thin, and her stomach is toned. Her skin is clear and tan, and her body has an hourglass figure. Her skin is just perfect. She is the most stunning girl anyone will ever see; nobody can deny it. She is perfect, which is why it’s so hard.

The worst part is that I never stop loving her. I just convince myself she deserves better than someone as broken as me.

Then Jeremiah is there for her in all the ways I can’t be. I watch them fall in love while I stand on the sidelines pretending it doesn’t destroy me. I tell myself that if she is happy, I can live with it. I tell myself that loving her from a distance is enough.

I lie to myself.

Years pass, and now she is only a few weeks away from marrying my brother.

Every time I see the ring on her finger, it feels like someone is ripping my heart out. I want to be happy for Jeremiah. I want to believe this is the way things are supposed to be.

But I can’t.

One evening, we end up walking along the beach together, just the two of us. I promise myself I won’t say anything. I’m not going to ruin everything.

But the second I look at her, I know I can’t keep pretending anymore.

The beach is quiet except for the sound of the waves. I stop walking and turn to face her, frustration building inside me. “I can’t believe you’re actually getting married this young. I mean, no offense, Claire, but you’re twenty-one. You and Jer have been together for four years, yeah, but I still think it’s ridiculous. You’re really ready to spend the rest of your life with him? Even your mom and my dad don’t think this is a good idea, and you’re just acting like none of that matters.”

She looks at me and shakes her head. “Conrad, it was never your opinion that mattered. No offense, but me and Jeremiah are happy together. Me and Jeremiah are happy. Why can’t you just see that?”

Something inside me snaps.

“Because I love you!” I shout. “Because I never stop loving you! Seeing you with my brother… do you have any idea what that’s been like? Every time I see the two of you together, it kills me. I thought you knew. I thought you knew from the moment we kissed on that beach. I thought you knew I’d love you forever. I thought you knew that no matter what happened after Mom died, no matter how badly I messed everything up, it was always going to be you. It’s always been you.”