Your birthday is next week and your friends decided to throw you a secret birthday party

As his friends started to plan what to do, Remus was deep in thought: it’s your birthday. He needs to get you something special.

Remus is nowhere near wealthy like his friedns, he is actually rather poor. Never buying more than enough, always second-hand, paying close attention to tags on items…he had always lived like that.

Remus wanted to get you something special. Because you were special to him, even if he didn’t seem to show it. You’ve been friends for a while, since Lily started dating James and your friend groups became one.

Remus likes you, thought no one will ever hear him say that out loud. Not when Lily talks to him about it, not when Sirius and James tease him, never. He craves it deeply but he knows it’s too dangerous, for you.

You’re friends. The rest of the marauders and the girls really like to party where as you and him prefer other things. Your friendship kind of consisted in that, quiet moments away from the rest in which you talked about deep thoughts. Shared experiences, laughter, and even smoked although you always ended up coughing due to your lack of experience. Remus always chuckled at that, he thought you were cute.

He would never say that either. He would never talk about the weird feeling he gets whenever you smile, or laugh, or how his heart goes faster every time you look at him, or when your hands occasionally brush against eachother.

He needed to get you something, like that he would show he cares about you in his own way. A gentle, thoughtful one. And one that is less scary than ripping his stomach and letting out all the butterflies in it.

For a week Remus gathered all his cigarettes he had took from home. He kept only one box of cigarettes, determined to seek the rest in order to get money to buy you something.

It could've been stupid, but for Remus, cigarettes were where he hid all his pain, as if every time he took a drag, the problems vanished from his mind.

He met some kids in the hallways and sold them cigarettes. At the end of the day he got enough money to get you what he wanted.

Eventually your birthday arrived. Lily and the rest had organised a “surprise party” for you. It was nothing too big.

Sirius was talking to you in order to get you to go to the marauders room. Once you reached the room Sirius opened the door and everyone said “Happy Birthday!!!”

You were really happy. You really were. Remus could not help but take a mental picture of your smile.

You were all chatting and having fun. They gave you their presents and you seemed very excited about everything. You kept saying “you didn’t have to, this is great.”

Remus didn’t give you his. Not yet.

Once the rest started drinking and dancing in the room and being a bit foolish Remus caught your gaze across the room and asked you to meet him in the hallway to the stairs, where you sat.