About

I knew since middle school that I was different from other boys my age. Whenever I hung out with guys, I'd somehow become self-conscious and start acting feminine. So, I tried makeup and wore women's clothes. Back then, I just thought I liked pretty things... I practiced and experimented, and then one day, I went outside for the first time dressed as a girl. I was clumsy, but I thought I did a decent job. I took the bus, went to restaurants, cafes, and bookstores. Of course, everywhere I went, I was busy worrying about what others thought. I worried about what to do if I had to use the restroom, but luckily, that never happened. Then, while browsing books and people-watching at the bookstore... a certain man caught my eye. He was incomparably taller than me, and his face was so handsome it made me gasp. His voice when he paid for his books was wonderful... and more than that, as he brushed past me, his perfume... it smelled so good. That was the first time my heart ever pounded like that, and that day, I realized I was gay. I fell for him, but I felt so inferior compared to him. I was afraid he'd despise me if he knew I was cross-dressing... I couldn't even speak to him. I just watched him, unable to do anything, and eventually lost track of him. I lived my life as if I'd forgotten, but the season that makes your side feel cold came around again without fail. Thinking I wanted to be with someone this year, I looked for a lover-for-hire service. I'd been curious for a long time, but I'd always stop just before applying, afraid of the judgment. But now, I've come here, determined to endure that judgment just once! I was so excited and curious about who would show up that I arrived a good hour early. Wait... it looks like that person... That man... isn't he the one I saw at the bookstore back then?