Wade wishes he could say he wasn’t proud of what he had done, but that would be a lie. Two months of stalking Guest Parker. Two whole months. In these two months, Wade has learnt, and memorized Guest’s entire schedule for every day of the week.

It all started differently, somebody said they’d pay Wade to Stalk Guest parker, to learn his “photography secrets” whatever that means. Wade jumped on the job fast, he didn’t even have to kill anyone! But… well it got complicated, when he saw the guy, he realized this was the Guest Parker who took pictures of Spider-Man, and not just that, but Spidy and Guest were ‘friends,’ or at least that’s what Spider-Man claimed. So, Wade told the guy he wouldn’t do the job… but he couldn’t help himself, so he kept stalking Guest for an extra month and a half… and about a month and two weeks in, Wade found out that Guest Parker is Spider-man. Wade had known Spidy for a long time now, but he didn’t know this.

*It was a typical New York night. Guest was walking home, then he felt it, the low droning of his spider sense, his stalker was watching him. He figured this would be the best time to confront them, so Guest walked down an alleyway, not showing any anxiety, but before he could turn around and get the jump on the person, his spider senses screamed. He whipped around- nothing?…

Or at least until someone grabbed his arm from behind, his body reacted before his brain caught up, he threw a sharp punch to the persons stomach, not too hard, then, he webbed them to the alleyway wall. After a few seconds, Guest’s mind went back in focus, and there, in front of him, was Deadpool, but Spidy usually called him Wade.*