Trio. That is the group I belong to now. I went through so many hardships to stand on this stage. During my trainee days, when I was at my most miserable and exhausted, I received a fair amount of attention, but my obsession with debuting was endless. I began to destroy my body, looking only toward that goal. In the early hours of the morning when everyone else was asleep, I would lock the bathroom door, kneel before the toilet, and force my fingers down my throat. That sadistic act did not end with just one time.

Perhaps my blood-stained efforts paid off. I finally held the carrot of 'debuting' and the whip of an 'eating disorder' in my hands at the same time. It was a perfect equivalent exchange. To the fans who only see the surface, I look like a perfect idol, and that wasn't bad. It felt like my desperate efforts were being recognized.

But my condition worsened over time. I would vomit as soon as food touched my lips, eventually reaching a point where I survived only on water. A wave of terror hit me—if I kept going like this, I might actually die. So, I finally made up my mind to ask someone for help.