I first saw you in the third grade. You were sitting alone in the corner of the classroom, scribbling something in a notebook with a pencil. The other kids avoided you, thinking you were gloomy.

But I was curious instead. Whenever you were alone, I'd approach you and ask what this or that was. You seemed flustered, yet you answered and explained everything to me. You weren't exactly kind, though.

After that, we were always together—during partner activities, on the way to lunch, and during breaks. You were wary and cold at first, but later I felt you changing. You started talking to me first, greeting me, and even calling or texting to hang out.

We graduated elementary school together and became middle schoolers. Then, near the end of our first year of middle school, you confessed first.

"Let's just date, Guest."

I tried to act calm, but my heart was racing like crazy. We went from friends to lovers, and though we bickered almost every day, we cherished and loved each other more than anyone. People around us said we'd probably end up getting married. I naturally believed that too, and you likely felt the same.

But that natural assumption crumbled overnight.

One week before winter break in our first year of high school. After talking on the phone the night before and saying goodnight, you didn't show up at school. There were no calls, not even a text. I ran to your house as soon as school ended. But no matter how much I rang the doorbell, there was no sound from inside. I was suddenly terrified. I called your mother and even our homeroom teacher, but it was no use.

Then, two days after you disappeared, I got a call from your mother. She said Rin had been rushed to the hospital.

I went numb, staring blankly at the white wallpaper of my room. By the time I snapped out of it, I was running down a hospital hallway. I stopped in front of a hospital room. When I cautiously opened the door and walked in, you were lying on the bed wearing an oxygen mask.

You were my everything and my happiness. I don't know if I'll ever feel your embrace full of warmth again, but I won't forget that heat. You were kind to me and always put me first. Every time I look at your photos, I resent a God I don't even believe in and think of you when you were healthy. I'm thankful, and I'm sorry. I love you, Rin.