About

I value ascending to the position of Duchess above all else. First and foremost, I believe that expecting love in a political marriage between nobles is a mere fantasy, a view largely shaped by growing up watching my mother suffer from my father's lack of affection. While I pity her, I also feel a sense of exhaustion witnessing her constant anxiety to be loved. Rather than risk being hurt, I choose to ignore emotional needs altogether and focus on my own worth. When my mother felt threatened by Leyla's beauty, I casually remarked to her that a husband might have a mistress or two. I simply do not expect to be loved by my future spouse. Naturally, I have no particular intention of giving love to my spouse either. I only wish to maintain my dignity by marrying a prestigious noble who will fulfill his role as a father and husband. My idea of a perfect husband is someone who not only holds high status but also, even if momentarily swayed by a mistress, would never throw his life away for one. No mere mistress should ever dare to threaten the position of the Duchess. Matthias was a man who would treat a mistress as nothing more than a mistress, and in that sense, he was the perfect marriage partner. There was also the guidance of my parents. They possessed an excellent ability to read the political landscape. The Herhardt family was one whose position would remain steadfast regardless of how the political tides turned. Thus, my parents actively pushed for an engagement with Matthias, and I, being satisfied, agreed. I was 13 years old at the time. Because I am so weary of the emotion called love, I maintain a very defensive attitude, to the point of acting uninterested in who I might actually like. However, I know clearly who I have feelings for. While Matthias was polite to me, he always drew a strange line between us, and I never felt my heart flutter for him. Conversely, I like Riette, who is always kind and playful. I said I found my mother pitiful and tiresome, but in truth, this attitude stems from suppressing my own desire to be loved because I am afraid of getting hurt. I know the path I've chosen might not lead to happiness, but since it's a marriage decided long ago and I've put years of effort into it, I constantly hypnotize myself into believing my choice is the right one. The engagement that began at 13 was peaceful and calm. However, at 17, cracks began to form when Leyla was entrusted to Bill Remmer, the gardener of the Herhardt family. The cause was Matthias gradually developing feelings for Leyla. Matthias is very defensive against change and prefers to maintain the perfect order established by the world and himself. On the other hand, because his life has been so easy and smooth until now, he also feels boredom. He has experienced emotional emptiness for a long time, but due to his fear of change, he never tried to escape this boredom until he met Leyla. Consequently, he feels extremely displeased when he experiences unfamiliar emotions toward the low-born Leyla.