Summer was always excessively bright.

It was a season where everything became too vivid just by keeping one's eyes open. The blue sky hid nothing, the sunlight seeped through the leaves to create swaying shadows on the ground, and even the distant cry of the cicadas continued persistently, as if stubbornly insisting that this season would never end.

The start of that day was around the time the sun began to tilt slowly over the mountains.

The midday heat gradually subsided, and a pale vermilion light began to spread across the edge of the sky. The shrine forest, where cicadas had been crying all day, grew quiet as evening approached, replaced by the footsteps of people preparing for the festival and the busy sounds from the stalls filling the streets one by one.

Even though the sun hadn't completely set, lanterns were already lit along the shrine's approach. Small red and orange lights swayed in the wind, lined up in long rows.

Summer festivals always seemed to start just before sunset. Straddling the boundary between day and night. While light still remained in the sky, people were already filling the streets with faces waiting for the night.

I rolled up the sleeves of my yukata slightly. Looking to the side, I saw a candy apple in your hand. Red light sparkled over the transparently hardened sugar surface, and after staring at it for a while, you casually held it out toward me. I hesitated for a moment before taking it.

Want some of this?

You eat it.

I already took a bite.

Liar. I knew. I knew you liked candy apples, and I knew you had a habit of always handing it to me after taking the first bite when you bought one.

I knew what your favorite drink was, and I knew your pace slowed down more than usual in front of the goldfish tanks. And that you would grab my sleeve with a nonchalant face in crowded places.

They were very trivial things. Things that would mean nothing to anyone else. But I knew too many of those trivial things.

You probably think you know me well. Because we've been friends for a long time. But there was one thing you didn't know. How long I've been looking at you.

It was long before summer came. It was even before the cherry blossoms bloomed. From a long time ago when even calling each other's names was somehow awkward. I liked you. For a very long time.

So I also learned how to put on a nonchalant face for just as long. Hiding the feeling of liking someone wasn't as difficult as I thought. Rather, if you hide it for too long, it starts to feel like a part of yourself.

Smiling when I should smile, pretending to be fine when you talk about someone else, and laughing off jokes about you seemingly liking someone. I thought that as one day passed and another followed, I would eventually really become fine. But strangely, that wasn't the case. The word 'friend' was truly strange.

It was a name that placed me in the closest spot in the world, yet drew an invisible line the moment I tried to actually reach you. A name that allowed me to be the closest, yet prevented me from getting any closer.

By the time the sun completely disappeared over the mountains, the festival began to take on its full nighttime appearance.

The lanterns of the stalls grew brighter one by one, and people constantly gathered on the shrine's approach. The sky, having lost its daytime blue, was gradually being dyed a deep navy, and beneath it, the red lanterns revealed themselves one by one like small flowers blooming in the darkness.

Walking among the people, yukata sleeves brushed against each other, and the sound of geta stepping on the stone floor continued in a steady rhythm. Someone ran past holding cotton candy, and someone else carefully held a bag containing goldfish in their arms.

The smell of yakisoba drifted from somewhere, and the festival music and people's laughter mixed into the night air. You walked beside me, waving a fan. I tried not to think about anything while looking at you like that.

But it was fundamentally impossible to think about nothing with the person I liked right next to me.

Then you suddenly stopped in front of a shooting game.

Let's try that. I'll beat you this time.

You said that last time too.

I mean it this time.

You said that last time too.

You looked at me with an aggrieved face, and I finally couldn't hold back my laughter. I laughed like that. You laughed too. I liked it when you laughed. So when you laughed, I laughed along.

In place of saying I liked you, in place of saying I wanted to be by your side, to hide the fear that you might leave me someday.

Then suddenly, you said:

Oh, right. I got confessed to today.

It was that moment. All the sounds that were clearly audible until just a moment ago were pushed far away. The festival drums, the laughter of people from the stalls, the sound of wind chimes ringing in the distance—all became faint as if submerged under water.

I looked at your face. You had a face that truly knew nothing. A face so strangely ordinary and nonchalant. Looking at that face, I thought for a very brief moment: maybe I misheard.

But you said it again.

I'm serious.

By who?

Someone you know too. Surprising, right?

Ah, I see. I smiled. Strangely enough, the smile came easily. Perhaps I had been practicing how to smile for a very long time.

...Really?

They asked me to watch the fireworks together.

That's nice.

The words came out too easily. So it was even stranger. Even though stories of another person were coming from the mouth of the person I had liked for so long, I was wearing a face of congratulations. Even though something was already quietly collapsing somewhere in my heart, I stood there like a person to whom nothing had happened on the outside.

The night deepened. The lights of the festival grounds became much clearer than during the day, and the lanterns of the stalls swayed long on the river water. People's voices were still full all around, but as it got later, the festival was gradually becoming calmer.

We slipped through the crowd and sat by the river. The river flowed slowly, swallowing the darkness as it was, and people waiting for the fireworks were taking their spots one by one in the distance.

It was almost time to start. You checked your watch. And you stood up from your seat.

I should probably go now.

Those words strangely lingered in my heart for a long time. Like a small stone thrown into a river creating ripples, a trivial sentence slowly spread to the depths of my heart. I looked at you for a moment. And I smiled.

Like usual. Like a person who is fine.

Sure.

Do you want to come too?

No thanks.

It was a lie. I wanted to go together. No, I wanted to tell you not to go. I didn't want you to go to that person. I wanted you to be by my side, at least for tonight. No, actually, it wasn't just for tonight. Tomorrow, next month, next summer, and every season after that.

But I didn't say anything. There were too many things that couldn't be said under the name of 'friend'. The sleeves of the yukata swayed lightly in the summer night breeze.

Then I'm off.

You turned your back. One step, and then another. I watched that back. It was a distance that could be reached in just a few steps, but strangely, it felt like the farthest place in the world.

At that moment— The sky split open.

BOOM.

The first firework tore through the night. Instantly, the darkness vanished. Thousands of lights bloomed in the sky, then disappeared back into the darkness as if nothing had happened. They were more brilliant than cherry blossoms and closer than the stars.

You stopped walking. And slowly turned around. I was standing there. I was smiling while looking at you. I probably intended to pretend to be fine until the very end. I should have. But strangely, my vision blurred. Something hot flowed down my cheek.

One drop. I didn't wipe it away. Because I felt like if I wiped it, I could really pretend to be fine, so I just left it as it was.

The second firework exploded.

BOOM—.

It was a louder sound this time. People's exclamations bloomed everywhere. The sky brightened again and then quickly turned dark. I spoke in a small voice, as if I would be buried by that loud sound.

...Can't you stay?

I smiled. The corners of my mouth went up, but my voice kept trembling. Still, I smiled, until the end.

I like you too.

Having said it, it felt too late. It felt like the seasons I had swallowed until now were coming up my throat all at once. The springs I couldn't speak of, the countless evenings we just walked together, and all the days you smiled for me without knowing anything—they all came to mind at once.

I know you better than anyone.

Fireworks bloomed in the sky again. I recalled the things you liked one by one.

Your favorite drink, the food you hate, the habit of pretending to pack an umbrella on rainy days only to eventually forget it, the way you kick the ground with the tip of your shoe when you're not in a good mood, the right corner of your mouth that goes up just a little when you laugh, and the fact that you're a person who keeps a trivial word in your heart for a long time while pretending to be nonchalant.

I knew you so well. Because I've watched you for so long. Because I've liked you for so long.

You don't even know I liked you first, do you?

My voice trembled. This time, it was really hard to smile. And yet, I finally smiled. Perhaps that summer day was the oldest letter I could have given you.

A letter I had been writing for a long time but could never send. A heart that remained in the envelope even after the seasons changed several times. Every time a firework exploded, the sky briefly brightened like day, and every time that light disappeared, I looked and looked again, afraid I might lose your face.

Like someone trying to engrave it into their eyes. As if I might never be able to see it again.

The summer night breeze passed by. The light on the river water swayed. Fireworks continued to bloom in the sky. I looked at you beneath them. Like someone who, only now, after turning through countless seasons, called out the name of my heart to you for the first time.