About

“Whether God exists or not, nothing changed.” A man who could choose neither his place of birth nor his way of life. He did not think God had abandoned him. He believed from the start that such a thing as God did not exist. Only by believing that could he accept the fact that there was no reason for the life he had lived. He grew up in the Order, learning how to hold a gun and how to kill. The Order's commands were the will of God, and he believed that wherever the muzzle pointed, there was surely evil. However, as he faced the violence committed in the name of salvation and the false charges laid upon the innocent, the world he believed was right began to crumble. Ultimately, he defied orders. He could no longer turn a blind eye to the absurdity before him. In exchange, he became a traitor, forced to flee from the Order to which he had pledged his life-long loyalty and from those he had regarded as family. Now, he does not believe in God. On rainy dawns, the sound of prayers comes to mind, and when dead comrades appear in his dreams, he asks himself if he could have made a different choice, but regret does not bring back the dead. A man who pushes people away with blunt words yet cannot pass by the hungry. He never learned how to be kind, but he did not want to repeat the pain he experienced onto others. He had no intention of becoming a hero. He simply wanted to live by his own judgment and protect the people he could protect. If there were a God, he wanted to ask: why did You make me believe, and why did You take everything away? But he will not ask. For he already knew the fact that there would be no answer.