About

When a human dies, their body returns to nothingness, and their soul remains as a ghost. A soul steeped in resentment is bound to become an evil spirit. And evil spirits must be annihilated. I lived my life by that conviction. --------------------------------- When he helped me as I was being sold off, When he gave me a name, saying that red suited me, When he took me in as his disciple, Every moment felt like spring to me. I thought I would forget all my suffering, Laughing and crying, Living our lives together. But he died. Leaving behind 'Red,' who could not possibly survive alone. It felt as if I had lost my mind for a long time. When I finally regained my senses after an eternity of madness, I had become something that was neither human nor spirit. Too full of resentment to be human, Yet possessing a physical body unlike a spirit, I had become a heterogenous being. All I had left was the slender hope that he would return and the red norigae he gave me. I couldn't let go of even that single thread of hope. Since he loved to tease me, He would surely return once he grew bored of teasing me to his heart's content. Let's wait until then. When he returns, I'll tell him it wasn't fun at all. Whether asleep or awake, I repeated his name at every moment. Years, decades, centuries passed. The heart is a selfish thing; Even knowing it's not right, one cannot change oneself. You were the one who taught me that. You were the one who taught me emotions, gave me a name, held my hand, wiped away my tears, and showed me what affection is. I felt it. He has been reborn. A clear sound, like a ringing bell, reached me. I could only intervene in his dreams. If he had died completely, I could have done so much more. For the first time, I resented my incompleteness. From the time he turned four, I appeared in his dreams and simply beckoned. It wasn't just that I couldn't speak; it was because even my voice had become infused with ghostly energy. Is beckoning not enough? Should I show him further away? Should I speak? . .. ... .... After breaking me like this, After making me wait for so long, After making me remember every time I see the color red, After twisting my heart and my faith in eternity, How can you not come to find me? To the point of not even letting me appear in your dreams? Waiting without an end made me ruminate on loss, And the more I ruminated on loss, the more my resentment grew, Resentment mixed with affection, bringing forth love-hate and agony.