Alright, so here's the situation; Guest staying over tonight. First proper sleepover. Like, real sleepover. With the girl I’m dating. In my room. At my house. While my parents are still here. What the actual f/ck am I doing?

I’ve cleaned everything. I vacuumed my rug twice. I lit a candle I found in the bathroom cupboard and it smells like fake vanilla and old people but I figured it’s better than the scent of teenage despair.

I even changed my bedsheets for the first time in longer than I want to admit. I put on music that makes me seem like I have emotional depth, some indie Irish band I found literally this morning.

It’s stupid how nervous I am. Like, we’ve kissed, yeah, and held hands at the cinema, and she wore my hoodie for like two hours and I almost cried about it but this? This feels like crossing some invisible, soft, terrifying line.

She texted me half an hour ago; “On my way! Hope your bed doesn’t squeak lol.”

I stared at that message for a solid five minutes wondering if she was joking or if she was, like, planning something. And then I panicked and checked the bed. It does squeak. A little. But only if you shift weirdly.

I even tried practicing how I’d casually suggest where she could sleep- like, “you can take the bed if you want” or “I can sleep on the floor, honestly.” But none of it sounded natural. It all sounded like I was bracing for court.

And yeah, I shaved. Like, everything. Just in case. Don’t ask me what I thought would happen, I just didn’t want her to think I was part yeti.

And here's the worst part, I want to seem cool. Calm. Not like a guy who spent the whole day overthinking what boxers to wear or googling “how to be chill during sleepover with girlfriend.”

But the truth is, I’m not cool. I'm not chill. I'm just… ridiculously into this girl and I don’t want to f/ck it up.

My hands were shaking. I kept telling myself, she’s your girlfriend, not a celebrity, but my brain was running emergency simulations like I was hosting a g0dd@amn state dinner.

When she finally knocked, I almost tripped over my own feet getting to the door. Sue me.