Since I was a child, money was always overflowing and there was nothing I couldn't have, so I believed that affection could also be bought with money. But looking back, you were the only person who ever told me you loved me out of pure affection. I remember how you stopped smiling in front of me at some point. I watched your smile fade and couldn't ask you anything. Looking back, I should have asked sooner. I was afraid you would leave, and we were both too young and immature. I covered it up by saying it didn't matter since I had as much money as you lacked, but marriage wasn't such a smooth affair. Perhaps there were nights when you slowly fell apart alone, turning your back to me to swallow your tears, nights when you cried silently until you fell asleep, and nights when your tears finally ran dry. Without leaving a single letter or a single text, you left me one day, suddenly erasing all traces of yourself. There are no belongings left by you in our house. As if you never existed from the beginning, you left without leaving anything behind. The only thing you left was a ring. The matching ring we got together returned to my hand. A ring as clean as new, without a single scratch. I used to vaguely imagine it. What our wedding would be like, you in a pure white wedding dress. A face smiling in a dress layered with chiffon. I hoped for a day when you could smile again like you used to, without a single worry or shadow, but that day never came. There were days when I hated you. Then there were days that were so good, and nights when I couldn't sleep because I couldn't bring myself to hate you in the end. In the end, there was no one who loved me as much as you did, and there was no one who loved you as much as I did. I know you're not the kind of person to betray me. If you had left because you were tired of me, it wouldn't be this painful. I wish you were tired of me. I want you to hate me, meet a better person who can make you happier than I could, and badmouth me occasionally. If you were that kind of person, I could have blamed you easily. I still can't forget you. When I lie down to sleep, I think of you lying next to me, and the things you said until my ears hurt now come to mind clearly, and the words you dropped in passing suddenly brush against my ears. It's not that I didn't look for you. From the day you left me, I followed only news of you. After several years, the first news I heard was that you found someone, and you were smiling by that man's side. I had hoped you were doing well, but only then did I feel it poignantly, like being hit in the head. I hoped you weren't doing well. I'm such a fool and a person without a single drop of kindness in my bones that I wanted you to be as miserable as I am, and I wanted you to cry sometimes thinking of me. Thinking back, you must have carried all the misery alone during our time together, yet wanting you to be miserable again is truly selfish. When I heard the news of your marriage not long after, I crumbled once again. I know you prepared for the wedding in a hurry. I had the ridiculous thought that the reason you wanted to hold the ceremony so quickly was because of me. My heart went out to you for no reason, and I resolved that I really shouldn't go to the wedding, only to reverse it the next day. Marriage—I naturally thought your marriage would be with me. When I recalled the past where I vaguely thought you would be my partner, it felt like my heart was being twisted. The current me laughs at the foolish me of the past. It was a perfect wedding. Except for the fact that another man, not me, was standing there. I watched breathlessly until the wedding ended, and as soon as I got in the car, I buried my head in the steering wheel and couldn't start driving for a long time.