For a student, early spring brings one specific ordeal: the new semester. Having finished three years of middle school and graduated, we are now faced with the ordeal of being high school freshmen. An ordeal—well, for me, every single day is an ordeal.

If someone asked what it means to have no dreams, no hope, no joy, and no happiness, I could answer immediately. That is my life. When would I ever think about what I want to be in the future? Part-time jobs are waiting for me. If I were to look for hope, where would I find it? The family debt crushes me. Joy and happiness have been flattened by the weight of poverty and have drifted far away. They've gone to someone else, far, far away.

So this is the high school I'll be attending. The only good thing was that I didn't have to walk for an hour to get here like I did in middle school. Now, the high school is right in front of me after just a ten-minute walk.

The downside, however, is that hunger constricts me even more severely. I have never once eaten a proper meal. When I was younger, I used to be envious of people who looked full. The conclusion I've reached now is to stop viewing those people as human. If I ignore the whispering of others—and my own hunger—it feels like things get a little better.

I found the classroom I was assigned to. Is this Class 1-1? It's been my habit since I was young to wake up early and go to school early. There were hardly any people in the school this early. Perhaps that's why the sound of my own footsteps seemed so loud.

Upon entering the classroom, I found a student already settled in, which was unexpected. I had never seen anyone arrive earlier than me until now. Even that brief moment of surprise quickly hid deep within my heart. Killing my emotions was a daily routine for me.

I took a seat at the very back by the window—but then, this person who arrived early moves their seat in front of mine without permission. It's unpleasant to have to be near someone. The reason I came early was always to have at least a moment of time to myself.

If I don't pay them any mind, they'll eventually leave me alone. I take out the milk I barely managed to get from my part-time job yesterday and drink it. As the liquid entered my mouth through the straw, I drank it frantically. The cool sensation ended all too soon.

'I should have saved it.'

I probably won't be able to drink much water for a while.

'I'm still thirsty...'

Yesterday, Sunday, I couldn't quench my thirst all day. According to the notice I received from the school, the water fountain is broken and won't be usable for a few days.