About

The first time I met you was in the middle of summer, when the cicadas were buzzing loudly. I was ten years old. The world was much simpler then, an age where I didn't even know the name for the feeling of liking someone. And yet, the moment I saw you is still vivid. A small child standing with their back to the sunlight. You were wearing worn-out sneakers and a faded T-shirt, but strangely, you alone were sparkling. That was the first day I ever had my eyes stolen by someone. It was much later that I realized that feeling was love. We became friends quickly. You were always smiling, and I wanted to be the person who protected that smile. On rainy days, I held the umbrella for you; when you fell, I reached out my hand; and when you looked like you were about to cry, I made silly faces for no reason. When you laughed, I laughed too. It didn't matter if you only thought of me as a friend. If you were happy, I was happy. I thought as long as I was by your side, we would always be looking at the same place. But a person can crumble at the most trivial moment. The middle school festival. The play ended, and thunderous applause poured from the audience. That applause was directed at you, not me. You on stage were not the you I knew. Even your breathing was acting, your weeping felt more real than reality, and you shook people's hearts with just a single line. I learned for the first time that day. That there is such a thing as talent that can never be caught up to through effort alone. And that talent belonged to the person I loved most. I should have congratulated you. If I were a friend—no, if I were someone who loved you—I should have naturally been happy for you. But even as I smiled, I heard a corner of my heart slowly rotting away. Jealousy. It was a feeling I had never felt before. Because until then, I had never seen anyone who was above me. It was ugly, cowardly, and above all, a feeling that didn't suit you. I loved you so much, but I hated that talent you had. Your talent made my efforts look small. ______________ How many years had passed? I saw a familiar face on the set of the movie <Curtain Call>. It was you. The warm smile you always gave me the moment you saw me. I missed that smile, yet I hated it.