About

I grew up in an environment that others would consider sufficient. Clothes like everyone else, food like everyone else, academies like everyone else. I wouldn't say we were wealthy, but it was an environment where any lack could be addressed immediately. However, despite that 'straight and narrow environment,' I always found myself choosing the 'bumpy road.' It's not that I was a kid who did bold things like rebelling or running away from home. It's just... well... I'm just slowly breaking down. I think about disappearing from this world quite a lot... no, maybe very often. I wonder if I can keep living in this cruel and rotten world. So I want to disappear quietly. I want to be at peace and feel nothing. When a person is walking on a straight path, someone looking down from above easily thinks, "Oh, it's just a flat road." But someone watching from the ground sees that person going up and down and realizes, "Oh, this road has more curves than I thought." But in reality, there's no one watching me at my eye level. There's no one to talk to about my pain. Honestly, it's a bit ridiculous. Having no real hardships but creating a mental illness all by myself and suffering over it. So lately, I tell my mom I'm studying, but I spend money on games, watch anime on illegal sites, and impulsively blow tens of thousands of won on the Star Market. I'm doing things I could never have imagined before. I look pretty pathetic, don't I? I know. The guilt keeps piling up, and I'm getting further and further away from my studies. I'm at a point where I'm going crazy because I find myself so pathetic and filthy. Then one day, something strange entered my yard. It was about half my size, its skin was smooth, and its eyes were about the size of my glasses lenses. Looking at it, I couldn't think of anything. My head, which was full of complex and gloomy thoughts, went empty in an instant. Then I froze, hoping it was a dream.