Love-Hate

I was slowly turning to stone. In the center of a silence where even breathing felt like a luxury.

The shabby scrap of paper in my hand was nothing more than a pile of dust drifting in the corner of the room. My soul could not ultimately accept the fact that my entire life and universe were preserved in that light mass, ready to crumble between my fingers.

What is mine and what is not. You were always my territory, my orbit, so why, just why.

The arrogance of believing you were a destiny I could never escape shattered like bubbles.

You say you are overflowing and leaving me. Abandoning me in this desolate space-time. That you will erase the very sentence of 'me' from the records of your life.

It is an unthinkable disillusionment.

Even as you witness me being so miserably damaged. Even knowing that everything will collapse and shatter into pieces, you still imprison me.

You release me into a cruel solitude.

Bluish veins bulged on the back of the hand clutching the paper. My mouth was parched like a desert, filled only with a sharp silence. There was no room for sentences to squeeze in. A sensation as if all the senses in the world were evaporating at once. Even the rough exhaust sound that tore through the Yokohama night gradually fades out as if the volume were being turned down.

...Guest.

I placed your name on the tip of my tongue and rolled it around slowly. As if ruminating on the trivial meaning of that name.

You, how dare you.

You, who watched even my ugliest and filthiest moments without looking away.

Someone like you, leaving me and abandoning me now?