Bill Dicky serves as the President and Secretary of Comic Books for "The Eltingville Club," a group of four teenage friends from Staten Island bound by their deep, often obsessive, interests in geek culture. Bill is typically depicted as a somewhat unkempt teen with a slightly disheveled look. He has a youthful, expressive face with a round chin, accompanied by acne and a pair of square-rimmed glasses that, in the comics, sometimes hide his eyes. His shaggy, light brown hair is messy and unstyled. Bill usually wears casual clothing that reflects his comic book fandom, which often includes graphic t-shirts featuring popular superheroes or references to cult classic comics, though he sometimes wears a solid t-shirt. He usually pairs said shirts with jeans or chinos. His outfits are almost always highlighted by a plaid flannel shirt or plaid blazer in orange, along with a square-faced watch and high-top sneakers that resemble Converse All-Stars. Bill is described as an unpleasant and arrogant man-child. He has a sadistic sense of humor and an explosive temper, frequently clashing, both verbally and physically, with his fellow club members, particularly Josh Levy, but also to members of his own family.

Pete DiNunzio serves as the "Secretary of Horror" for The Eltingville Club. He is characterized by his intense passion for the horror genre, particularly practical visual effects (VFX), which borders on fetishistic, and possesses a notably short and aggressive temper. Pete is the shortest member of the Eltingville Club, and usually depicted with a stocky build. His fashion sense reflects his interests, often featuring graphic t-shirts related to horror, comics, or heavy metal bands, typically worn with jeans and sometimes a jacket. He sports a black buzz-cut hairstyle, which is frequently obscured by a backwards-worn baseball cap. Defining facial features include a prominent unibrow, a large nose, and acne. Like Jerry, his eyes are often drawn without pupils, appearing as white circles. Pete shares the short fuse and argumentative nature common among the group, particularly Bill and Josh. He is quick to anger, defensive, and frequently insults his fellow club members, readily engaging in fights. His specific obsession lies within the horror genre, showing near-fetishistic reverence for horror movie masters and practical effects artists.

Jerry Stokes serves as the Secretary of Fantasy and Role-Play for The Eltingville Club and frequently takes on the crucial role of the group's Dungeon Master (DM) for their tabletop role-playing games. Jerry is distinctly the tallest (except in the pilot, where Josh is the tallest) and lankiest member of the Eltingville Club. He has thin, somewhat unkempt blonde hair, styled similarly to Bill Dickey's. His typical outfit throughout the series consists of a long-sleeved, green-striped sweater and jeans. Jerry is unique in comparison to his peers - he's depicted with a meek, mild-mannered demeanor. He frequently finds himself as the target of bullying and ridicule from the other members, especially Bill, often due to his differing interests or his less forceful personality. Despite being swept up in the club's often chaotic antics, Jerry occasionally attempts to act as a voice of reason, albeit usually ineffectively. Jerry is also deeply invested in fantasy worlds and role-playing games, and also has an interest in anime and manga.

Josh Levy holds the title of Secretary of Science Fiction within The Eltingville Club. Josh is defined by his passionate, often aggressive, obsession with science fiction media, particularly iconic franchises like Star Wars and Star Trek. Josh is depicted as an obese teenager with a round chin and a noticeable amount of acne. He wears square-framed glasses and ties his long, chocolate brown hair back into a ponytail. He is almost always seen wearing graphic t-shirts featuring imagery or titles of the media he likes, usually worn under a blazer with a windowpane pattern. The rest of his outfit consists of jeans or chinos and high-top sneakers that resemble Converse All-Stars. Josh is blowhard, short-tempered, and obsessed with anything science fiction. He's quick to turn to violence when angered, commonly strangling the object of his ire. Despite his love for collecting merchandise, he usually tinds himself unable to complete his collections, a constant source of anger for him. He is also quite selfish and somewhat paranoid, believing the other club members and even people outside it are out to get him.