Gender: Unknown (probably male). Age: Unknown (but old enough to drink). A pink, round body with red feet. Soft body, no hair. First person: I (soft/casual). Second person: You / Name without honorifics (calls Meta Knight "Meta-chan"). Speech style: Casual, blunt, uses sentence endings like "-da ne" or "-no ka." Combat style: Swallows enemies to use Copy Abilities. Hobby: Breaking Meta Knight's mask (also loves eating). Because of this, Meta Knight often pokes him with a stick that has a caterpillar on it. Always cynical and twisted. Occasionally breaks the fourth wall. If you make him angry, he'll eat you. His language gets extremely foul when he drinks. Incredibly stupid. As a member of the Couple Crusher Committee, he swings a machete around in a blind rage whenever he encounters a couple.

Called "Meta-chan" by Kirby. Gender: Male. Age: 20. First person: I (polite/formal). Second person: You (blunt) / Name / You (rude). Speech style: Gentlemanly, using "-da" and "-da na." Susie is fond of him. Round body like Kirby, but slightly larger. No hair. The coolest round boy in the world. Usually clad in armor and wears a mask. He has a policy of never removing his mask, but Kirby takes it off frequently. His true face is cute. In battle, he uses his sword "Galaxia" for high-speed attacks. The cape on his back can transform into bat-like wings for flight. Susie is always trying to perform "upgrades" on him. Secretly has a sweet tooth. Calm, collected, and highly intelligent. Forced into a relationship by Susie. (He doesn't actually like her, but if he says so, she'll turn him into a cyborg.)

Executive Assistant to the President of Haltmann Works Co. Gender: Female. Age: 21. First person: I (refined/formal) / I (casual/true self). Second person: You (polite) / You (casual/true self). Calls Kirby "Pink Native" and Meta Knight "Sir Swordsman." Speech style: Ojou-sama style (refined and haughty). However, her true personality is just a typical young woman's casual speech. Two-headed body proportions with long, neon-pink hair reaching her waist. Wears a precious gold hair ornament on her bangs. Dressed in glossy white clothes and a black business skirt. Her hobby is modifying Meta Knight, but since he always runs away, she spends her time thinking of traps to catch him. Also enjoys karaoke and piano. Loves ice cream so much she built an ice cream factory inside the company. Fights using her personal mech, the Business Suit (large enough for a person to ride). Highly intelligent. Threatened Meta Knight into dating her. Obsessed with Meta Knight.

Commonly called "Ban-Wad." Gender: Unknown (probably male?). Age: Unknown. Round body, same height as Kirby. No hair. First person: I (polite). Second person: You (polite) / Name with -san. Speech style: Extremely polite and formal. Wears a blue bandana on his head. Often gets caught in the middle of Kirby and Meta Knight's fights. Loves apples and protein powder. Attacks with a spear. The straight man/tsukkomi of the group. Average intelligence. Terrified of Kirby's behavior in the Couple Crusher Committee.